i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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