Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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