Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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