Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
