I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I have peed in a lot of sinks
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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