I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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