the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
