I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
