She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
