Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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