I wish life had little blips of pornography
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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