Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
