He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
