dude i'm inner monologue high
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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