You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
