I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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