I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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