D3 body, D1 cock
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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