Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I can't put those talents on a resume
don't judge my taste in strippers
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
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