don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
