so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
