so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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