um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
