How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize