If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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