I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
