Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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