Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
May the power of my ass compel you!!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
