How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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