My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
