I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
