3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
