i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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