I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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