i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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