All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
