i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
