Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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