I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
