maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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