ya dads aren't the best wingmen
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
