So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
