Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
