Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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