omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
