And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
