Sponge bath it is.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
