Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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