she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
