Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
