Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
birth control should be required to get into college
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize