good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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