no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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