just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
