love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
