doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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