if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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