either way he was missing a nipple.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
