just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
