HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
