I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
