I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize