How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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