he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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