she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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